FOR A LAUGH
04/09/12
I feel like a laugh tonight and as ive been keeping journals my whole life, here is a selection from the last journal
20/10/09 X FACTOR.
I said to Reisse that Leon Jackson (he used to love him, you might need to google) wasnt bringing out another album because no one bought the first one. Reisse looks horrified and said "Well I bought it!!!' I was laughing and said "Well just because you bought it isnt going to keep his record label afloat you know!"
28/10/09 EYES!!
Reisse and I were lying on the sofa and i said "awww You have my eyes!' He was all smiling and said "Aw thats cute isnt It?" I shouted, "NO GIVE ME THEM BACK!!!'
13/01/10 JAMES CORDON
Reisse loves James Cordon who's in Gavin and Stacey and says "I really honestly love James Cordon, he always seems to get into wacky adventures!"
27/01/10 JACLYN AND THE DRESS
Jac was in Newcastle and couldnt get her dress zipped up so she phoned me drunk from the toilets going, "Angela, they're all foreign down here, i dont know what to do." then called back and said "Thats me, im fine, my dress is fine and my f***y's fine!!!'
26/03/10 LOCH NESS
I told Jaclyn about a guy i knew who lived in Loch Ness and she says "Whit? is that a real place? I thought it was made up. I know Loch Lomonds real but surely Loch ness isn't?"
This is coming from the girl who thinks Aberdeen is in England!!
08/03/10 SUPERVISOR
Was on the phone to Reisse and he was all sulk and says "I want to get off the phone now, let me speak to your supervisor!"
I said "Certainly not Charles, Why dont you let me speak to yours?" He says "Yeah ok then, let me just got and get gran!!!'
10/03/10 TURNING TO STONE
Reisse says theres a girl in his class who he doesnt like and every time she looks at him,he treats her like the wicked witch as if shes turned him into stone. He pauses whatever he's doing when she looks at him and just stands there frozen until she walks away. ????
09/04/10 CRABS
Abbie in work, says that if you have crabs you just sprinkle some sugar on them and it rots their teeth
09/04/10 MEAT
Jac had a ham and mushroom pizza and picked it up saying "Gadz im not eating that. There's not even any meat on it>" So ham isnt meat anymore no>?
11/05/10 EH?
I HAD a customer on the phone once who kept saying "Eh?Eh?" and i said to Graeme Miller, "i dont like this guy, he keeps saying Eh eh eh, all the time."
Graeme said "Im sure thats not the first you've made make strange noises Angela
19/07/10 TITANIC
Reisse and I were watching Titanic and he said "Why the hell are they holding on to the side of the boat, why dont they just jump into the sea and then they'll be fine."
I said :THey wont be fine, they will freeze and die!!"
Reisse says "I dont see why, we jumped into the sea in Turkey and we didn't freeze and die!"
14/07/10
I was driving, and I yawned, and spoke at the same time.Reisse shouts "Sorry what was that?? I dont speak yawn>"
28/07/10
Was talking to Rhiannon, and she said she knew someone whose aunt had died, and left them some money. I said "thats a shame, what did she die of?" Rhi says "Downs syndrome !"
06/05/10
Amy Baillie says she's not going to vote tories as she ddnt like them. She said she was going to vote for conservatives instead
17/05/10
Reisse slapped my bum this morning and said "Eh did you like that then? I think you'll find im quite the female charmer.!'
I said "Oh really is that right, so who do you charm then?'
He says "you!. '
Well i made you so i think you'll find thats essential!
23/08/10
Reisse said i was ghastly because i was eating brussel sprouts
26/07/10 SCUBA!!!!!
I was in the car telling Reisse about how i had a dream where you could scuba dive in Superdrug while you shop, so i says you were underwater and grabbed shampoo then fed the fish.
Then someone else ordered a crocodile but it escaped and we had to hide in the opticians, while they wrapped it in polythene. Reisse was watching me the whole time all thoughtful and said "So did you used to be able to scuba dive in Superdrug??"
23/08/10 HIGH SCHOOL
reisse came back from his first day at high school, and i asked if there was any good looking girls there,
he said "theres one called Natalie but she's a bit scummy.'
I asked why she was scummy?
He said "she wears too much make up and her skirt was too short!"
28/10/10
Natalie had a woman on the phone from South Africa who had a lot of money. She says "Look how much money was in that account, She's from Africa, i thought they had to walk for water there!"
09/10/10 CHINESE
Reisse and i got a chinese menu the other day and saw that it said "number 44 pineapple etc" and said "That's ridiculous, why on earth would anyone want 44 pineapples!!"
I feel like a laugh tonight and as ive been keeping journals my whole life, here is a selection from the last journal
20/10/09 X FACTOR.
I said to Reisse that Leon Jackson (he used to love him, you might need to google) wasnt bringing out another album because no one bought the first one. Reisse looks horrified and said "Well I bought it!!!' I was laughing and said "Well just because you bought it isnt going to keep his record label afloat you know!"
28/10/09 EYES!!
Reisse and I were lying on the sofa and i said "awww You have my eyes!' He was all smiling and said "Aw thats cute isnt It?" I shouted, "NO GIVE ME THEM BACK!!!'
13/01/10 JAMES CORDON
Reisse loves James Cordon who's in Gavin and Stacey and says "I really honestly love James Cordon, he always seems to get into wacky adventures!"
27/01/10 JACLYN AND THE DRESS
Jac was in Newcastle and couldnt get her dress zipped up so she phoned me drunk from the toilets going, "Angela, they're all foreign down here, i dont know what to do." then called back and said "Thats me, im fine, my dress is fine and my f***y's fine!!!'
26/03/10 LOCH NESS
I told Jaclyn about a guy i knew who lived in Loch Ness and she says "Whit? is that a real place? I thought it was made up. I know Loch Lomonds real but surely Loch ness isn't?"
This is coming from the girl who thinks Aberdeen is in England!!
08/03/10 SUPERVISOR
Was on the phone to Reisse and he was all sulk and says "I want to get off the phone now, let me speak to your supervisor!"
I said "Certainly not Charles, Why dont you let me speak to yours?" He says "Yeah ok then, let me just got and get gran!!!'
10/03/10 TURNING TO STONE
Reisse says theres a girl in his class who he doesnt like and every time she looks at him,he treats her like the wicked witch as if shes turned him into stone. He pauses whatever he's doing when she looks at him and just stands there frozen until she walks away. ????
09/04/10 CRABS
Abbie in work, says that if you have crabs you just sprinkle some sugar on them and it rots their teeth
09/04/10 MEAT
Jac had a ham and mushroom pizza and picked it up saying "Gadz im not eating that. There's not even any meat on it>" So ham isnt meat anymore no>?
11/05/10 EH?
I HAD a customer on the phone once who kept saying "Eh?Eh?" and i said to Graeme Miller, "i dont like this guy, he keeps saying Eh eh eh, all the time."
Graeme said "Im sure thats not the first you've made make strange noises Angela
19/07/10 TITANIC
Reisse and I were watching Titanic and he said "Why the hell are they holding on to the side of the boat, why dont they just jump into the sea and then they'll be fine."
I said :THey wont be fine, they will freeze and die!!"
Reisse says "I dont see why, we jumped into the sea in Turkey and we didn't freeze and die!"
14/07/10
I was driving, and I yawned, and spoke at the same time.Reisse shouts "Sorry what was that?? I dont speak yawn>"
28/07/10
Was talking to Rhiannon, and she said she knew someone whose aunt had died, and left them some money. I said "thats a shame, what did she die of?" Rhi says "Downs syndrome !"
06/05/10
Amy Baillie says she's not going to vote tories as she ddnt like them. She said she was going to vote for conservatives instead
17/05/10
Reisse slapped my bum this morning and said "Eh did you like that then? I think you'll find im quite the female charmer.!'
I said "Oh really is that right, so who do you charm then?'
He says "you!. '
Well i made you so i think you'll find thats essential!
23/08/10
Reisse said i was ghastly because i was eating brussel sprouts
26/07/10 SCUBA!!!!!
I was in the car telling Reisse about how i had a dream where you could scuba dive in Superdrug while you shop, so i says you were underwater and grabbed shampoo then fed the fish.
Then someone else ordered a crocodile but it escaped and we had to hide in the opticians, while they wrapped it in polythene. Reisse was watching me the whole time all thoughtful and said "So did you used to be able to scuba dive in Superdrug??"
23/08/10 HIGH SCHOOL
reisse came back from his first day at high school, and i asked if there was any good looking girls there,
he said "theres one called Natalie but she's a bit scummy.'
I asked why she was scummy?
He said "she wears too much make up and her skirt was too short!"
28/10/10
Natalie had a woman on the phone from South Africa who had a lot of money. She says "Look how much money was in that account, She's from Africa, i thought they had to walk for water there!"
09/10/10 CHINESE
Reisse and i got a chinese menu the other day and saw that it said "number 44 pineapple etc" and said "That's ridiculous, why on earth would anyone want 44 pineapples!!"
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