FAT FAT FAT
21//11/12
On a note that life does indeed go on, thought i would inject a little needed humour into a dark and gloomy blog as anyone that does know, knows there's a hearty laugh going on behind the misery, or should that be in front of the misery.
I cannot spend life grieving for death, i have to breathe and have decided that i want to breathe inside a body that isn't so filled with flab.
For that reason, I joined Weightwatchers for the second time.
I was going last year just before Budsie went and lost a fair bit but he went and it fucked it up haha
He fucked everything up, selfish twat.
So i waddled in through the double doors, (you have to go in through the double ones, Jo says, single ones don;'t fit. The more weight you lose the less doors you can go through).
Its like a weight labyrinth
So i sit down, start chatting to old Mary beside me and jolly along, almost accepting tea from the withered hand stretching out towards. I look up, the withered hand belongs to Bert, Bert who weighs 7 stone (the equivalent of what i need to lose) and i eye him suspiciously.
Hey bert, you're not supposed to be here. You're in the wrong place. Nah he wasn't, i was.
I was suddenly listening to a debate about petrol prices for 5 minutes before i realised, they weren't debating petrol because the fat people were weighing the cars down and it was costing more???
The fat people weren't here, it was a Labour party meeting.
I had to pretend i had left my car unlocked and run out to get it, Mary says "You can leave your bag here dear,"
"Naw Mary, id better take it, in case I need my .........toblerone!!!" Yes i actually said that.
I then had to sneak out and in some side doors to get to the Weightwatchers meeting and ad forgotten my monthly pass thing so the girl was helping me get it off my phone, while she was holding it, my phone pinged with a text from DOMINOS offering me 2 for 1 and an email from Pizza Hut.
I think i went as red as my stretchmarks and she put her hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry hen, you're in the right place.'
I think Mary saw me sneak back in as well.
So my cousin and friend said we will all have a competition to lose weight, first one to lose 5 pounds wins a punch in the face. Yeah that will be because fat people always lose loads straight away.
She says "Tell you what, ill tell you my weight and then you go, (on public Facebook) im 12st 5.! Now you go!!!!!"
I says "Nah, I'll private message you haha. "
So im on the wagon, no more footlong subways, (well i can but only if i eat lettuce for a full day before hand).
Support me, will you,
life starts here for me. For me to be happy with other people, i have to be happy and not puke when i look in the mirror
The left photo is what i look like 3 days ago
underneath my clothes my entire body is covered in scales. Bridget jones said that. I have stretchmarks. i prefer to call them baby ribbons,
On a note that life does indeed go on, thought i would inject a little needed humour into a dark and gloomy blog as anyone that does know, knows there's a hearty laugh going on behind the misery, or should that be in front of the misery.
I cannot spend life grieving for death, i have to breathe and have decided that i want to breathe inside a body that isn't so filled with flab.
For that reason, I joined Weightwatchers for the second time.
I was going last year just before Budsie went and lost a fair bit but he went and it fucked it up haha
He fucked everything up, selfish twat.
So i waddled in through the double doors, (you have to go in through the double ones, Jo says, single ones don;'t fit. The more weight you lose the less doors you can go through).
Its like a weight labyrinth
So i sit down, start chatting to old Mary beside me and jolly along, almost accepting tea from the withered hand stretching out towards. I look up, the withered hand belongs to Bert, Bert who weighs 7 stone (the equivalent of what i need to lose) and i eye him suspiciously.
Hey bert, you're not supposed to be here. You're in the wrong place. Nah he wasn't, i was.
I was suddenly listening to a debate about petrol prices for 5 minutes before i realised, they weren't debating petrol because the fat people were weighing the cars down and it was costing more???
The fat people weren't here, it was a Labour party meeting.
I had to pretend i had left my car unlocked and run out to get it, Mary says "You can leave your bag here dear,"
"Naw Mary, id better take it, in case I need my .........toblerone!!!" Yes i actually said that.
I then had to sneak out and in some side doors to get to the Weightwatchers meeting and ad forgotten my monthly pass thing so the girl was helping me get it off my phone, while she was holding it, my phone pinged with a text from DOMINOS offering me 2 for 1 and an email from Pizza Hut.
I think i went as red as my stretchmarks and she put her hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry hen, you're in the right place.'
I think Mary saw me sneak back in as well.
So my cousin and friend said we will all have a competition to lose weight, first one to lose 5 pounds wins a punch in the face. Yeah that will be because fat people always lose loads straight away.
She says "Tell you what, ill tell you my weight and then you go, (on public Facebook) im 12st 5.! Now you go!!!!!"
I says "Nah, I'll private message you haha. "
So im on the wagon, no more footlong subways, (well i can but only if i eat lettuce for a full day before hand).
Support me, will you,
life starts here for me. For me to be happy with other people, i have to be happy and not puke when i look in the mirror
The left photo is what i look like 3 days ago
underneath my clothes my entire body is covered in scales. Bridget jones said that. I have stretchmarks. i prefer to call them baby ribbons,
Comments
Post a Comment