CHRISTMAS
25/12/12
01:02
went to go to sleep after putting out reisse's presents and just sat on the couch looking at them.
I had a little cry for you, im not ashamed to admit.
The missing you is agony.
WHy did you have to go?
Christmas Eve was our time when we were little. Mum and dad would always let us open each others presents to each other and that was the only one we were allowed to open.
I snuk into your cupboard a few times to peek at what you had bought me. Once you had bought me a ring binder with dolphins on it, when i was 12 and some used pencils haha.
You were angry cos i peeked, but gave me a chinese burn and smiled at my tears,
I wish my tears for you now were becuase you had hurt my arm.
But they are for a much more painful reason.
Its so .......i dont even have a word just now
Christmas without you is painful, in fact every day without you hurts.
Its only ok when you are not in my head, but one look at a photo of you and i am right back where i started, with a ball of lead resting in the pit of my stomach.
How i miss you,? and how you would laugh at this whole blog maybe.
or would you? You didnt want to go,not when you were so happy.
Please turn the clock back to that chinese burn, or hair pulling, or slagging me off to your friends.
This is never going to get easier,
Reisse is upset tonight as one of his school friends died in Australia recently and he feels bad he hadnt spoken to him as much as he used to. They were good friends in primary school and he regrets not carrying that on as he said he felt too cool to hang around with him so they would only talk in passing.
You don't know what you have till its gone.
and gone you are my dear.
Im praying for a better year for us for the next one, only looking forward as back is too painful,
I miss you till forever,
happy christmas to you where you are, I love you!!!!
01:02
went to go to sleep after putting out reisse's presents and just sat on the couch looking at them.
I had a little cry for you, im not ashamed to admit.
The missing you is agony.
WHy did you have to go?
Christmas Eve was our time when we were little. Mum and dad would always let us open each others presents to each other and that was the only one we were allowed to open.
I snuk into your cupboard a few times to peek at what you had bought me. Once you had bought me a ring binder with dolphins on it, when i was 12 and some used pencils haha.
You were angry cos i peeked, but gave me a chinese burn and smiled at my tears,
I wish my tears for you now were becuase you had hurt my arm.
But they are for a much more painful reason.
Its so .......i dont even have a word just now
Christmas without you is painful, in fact every day without you hurts.
Its only ok when you are not in my head, but one look at a photo of you and i am right back where i started, with a ball of lead resting in the pit of my stomach.
How i miss you,? and how you would laugh at this whole blog maybe.
or would you? You didnt want to go,not when you were so happy.
Please turn the clock back to that chinese burn, or hair pulling, or slagging me off to your friends.
This is never going to get easier,
Reisse is upset tonight as one of his school friends died in Australia recently and he feels bad he hadnt spoken to him as much as he used to. They were good friends in primary school and he regrets not carrying that on as he said he felt too cool to hang around with him so they would only talk in passing.
You don't know what you have till its gone.
and gone you are my dear.
Im praying for a better year for us for the next one, only looking forward as back is too painful,
I miss you till forever,
happy christmas to you where you are, I love you!!!!
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