GETTING BACK TO ME!!!

I was adopted, thats not a secret. its never been a secret. All this time, all these years of mystery,not knowing, fear, has ended. It has all culminated in this moment, this week, this very minute. To discover who you are after years of imagination is a strange feeling indeed. The imagination of a child is something that's lost as your years of cynicism take over. Not something you can help but something that happens regardless. Of course I had a theory of what had happened and some things that were pieced together throughout the year but nothing was ever set in stone. As an 8 year old I would shopping with my mother In Sauchiehall street and imagine the bio one lurching past me, a stranger but connected. It was a weird feeling. I would come home from school and see a strange car outside my parents house, that would be it. She had come to get me and terror struck. I wouldnt have known the blood if it had smacked me in the face. Scott never w...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OGTtPpVJDA The words in this song are the most apt ive seen in describing how you feel when you lose the ones you love. You had plans with them for the rest of your life, what was going to be, and they take them with them when they go. We are now 3 years in since I lost him, and although i am learning to live with his space in my life, the Budsie shaped hole he has left, and maybe i have controlled the crying so its not a daily thing, its still heartbreaking. I will never get to be an aunt, if i ever fall in love, he will never meet him. He was the only person Ive known every day of my life, every moment I had with him, I admired what my big brother was. I miss him, i miss you. Time is not a healer, time just dulls the person i was because you made me brighter, You made me happy. When you walked in the room, it made me feel confident, louder and protected. Thats what your big brother is supposed to be, a protector and you certainly did ...